Thursday, January 19, 2012

"Come Home" A Poem for My Wife

While I do not usually speak of this publicly, I felt truly inspired by one of my wife's emails and had to share my newest poem. My partner and I have been in love with each other since we were sixteen. Life and stupid choices (on both our parts) tore us from each other many years back; however, about 2 years ago, we managed to find each other again. We had grown and changed. Life tends to mold us with every breath we take, and for us, those changes finally brought us back to one another, and we have been partnered ever since.

But while we were brought back together in spirit, we were also torn apart by man. Currently, my wife is serving time in a state prison. The original court date handed out a completely irrational sentence of 15 years, serve seven and parole at three years. While the details of the case cannot be discussed, the frustration for such a harsh sentence can still be understood. My wife appealed her case in the summer of 2011, but the judge chose to wait on the verdict until the first of the year. The first of the year came and went, but still we have no word. The hope is parole or time already served. Honestly, whatever brings her home. 

These last two years have been very hard on both of us. Our faith in each other has been tested, and our faith in God similarly tested. Yet, we have managed to remain faithful to one another and to remain strong despite our vulnerabilities. This poem explains why I love my partner, and the frustration of not having any control over our situation. We must wait, live and pray that God will find a way to bring her home soon. We wait on a man we both have never met to decide her fate. Therefore, the title of the poem is: "Come Home." I hope you enjoy.

Come Home
by Cristina Marrero

I miss you;
and believe me, 
I want you to come home too. 

The countdown is over 
and the looming shade of uncertainty
just makes my aggravation grow daily. 

I want to know. 
I want to make our home presentable for your arrival. 
I want my wife back. 
I want to hold you in my arms and not have a time limit. 
I do not want to wait on a verdict
handed out by some judge I have never met,
and will most likely never meet. 

I want your anxiety from being stuck in hell to end.
I want you to be happy again. 
Criminal justice is not justice;
To them, 
Justice is just a fancy word for vengeance.
But “Vengeance is mine!” sayeth the Lord.
And last time I checked, 
the justice system had no Lords…
Only humans. 

I miss you, and I miss being able to simply call or text.
I miss the sound of your voice. 
The way you hold my hand.

The way you look at me with that piercing stare of yours. 
You get that look every time you listen. 

It takes my breath away every time, 
and that is why I can never manage to keep up an argument. 
I become lost in your love. 

That has only ever truly happened with you. 
In your presence I find peace. 
My mind slows down, and I am able to breath. 

To breathe a breath that has long since been repressed 
by societies deadlines and standards. 
The debt collectors, rude customers and the uncompassionate of this world cripple 
my once unguarded soul. 
But around you, my barricades fall, 
and for the first time in years, I begin to feel more.

More than anger or indignation,
More than rage.
You taught me how to love, 
And how to receive love without fearful pains. 

With you, 
I begin to feel unconditional love that will tolerate my stupidity, 
call me out when I am being harsh or rude, 
and that will help shape me into a more caring and self-aware individual. 

You make me a better woman by simply giving me your love with no condition.
You do not try to shape me into someone I am not, 
but rather bring out and intensify all the good I had forgot. 

I love you, and I miss you. 
Every day I wake up without you by my side 
makes me feel the void my heart cannot fill with anything other than the love of my wife.

My life has taken an upwards jettison,
but still, 
something remains missing.

I breathe, 
I sigh,
as I lift myself from my companionless bed. 
I turn to enter the bathroom and prepare for my day.

I gather my things, walk outside 
then lock the gate to my little corner of the world. 

I am lost...
but then I look at the picture wedged on my old school car radio's face.
The picture of you and I 
when we last shared a moment of joy 
in a not so happy place...
and believe me, 
no one can take that joy from you or I.

I look at my wife and know that our quality of life will soon skyrocket 
when we can both share the same sky. 

We will face many challenges, 
and I will do stupid things, 
but if we have each other....
Trust me Babe, 
we can face any damn thing. 

I love you. 
Come home soon.
I miss you.

Cristina & Lytisha
March 2008

1 comment:

  1. I was very happy to have found this site. I wanted to thank you for this excellent post. I definitely enjoyed every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post in the future

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About The Artistic Poet: Cristina Marrero

My photo
Orlando, Florida, United States
I'm a self-published author and have written for the semi-national magazine Out on the Town.