~The Artistic Poet~

John Cortes for Candidate: Tampa Rally and Hearing

2012-01-29T12:27:00.000-08:00

John Cortes for Candidate: Tampa Rally and Hearing: John Cortes, Candidate Press room in the courthouse Simon Howard, Executive Director of the ACLU of Florida Election law c...

"Come Home" A Poem for My Wife

2012-01-19T12:25:00.000-08:00

While I do not usually speak of this publicly, I felt truly inspired by one of my wife's emails and had to share my newest poem. My partner and I have been in love with each other since we were sixteen. Life and stupid choices (on both our parts) tore us from each other many years back; however, about 2 years ago, we managed to find each other again. We had grown and changed. Life tends to mold us with every breath we take, and for us, those changes finally brought us back to one another, and we have been partnered ever since.

But while we were brought back together in spirit, we were also torn apart by man. Currently, my wife is serving time in a state prison. The original court date handed out a completely irrational sentence of 15 years, serve seven and parole at three years. While the details of the case cannot be discussed, the frustration for such a harsh sentence can still be understood. My wife appealed her case in the summer of 2011, but the judge chose to wait on the verdict until the first of the year. The first of the year came and went, but still we have no word. The hope is parole or time already served. Honestly, whatever brings her home.

These last two years have been very hard on both of us. Our faith in each other has been tested, and our faith in God similarly tested. Yet, we have managed to remain faithful to one another and to remain strong despite our vulnerabilities. This poem explains why I love my partner, and the frustration of not having any control over our situation. We must wait, live and pray that God will find a way to bring her home soon. We wait on a man we both have never met to decide her fate. Therefore, the title of the poem is: "Come Home." I hope you enjoy.

Come Home

by Cristina Marrero

I miss you;

and believe me,

I want you to come home too.

The countdown is over

and the looming shade of uncertainty

just makes my aggravation grow daily.

I want to know.

I want to make our home presentable for your arrival.

I want my wife back.

I want to hold you in my arms and not have a time limit.

I do not want to wait on a verdict

handed out by some judge I have never met,

and will most likely never meet.

I want your anxiety from being stuck in hell to end.

I want you to be happy again.

Criminal justice is not justice;

To them,

Justice is just a fancy word for vengeance.

But “Vengeance is mine!” sayeth the Lord.

And last time I checked,

the justice system had no Lords…

Only humans.

I miss you, and I miss being able to simply call or text.

I miss the sound of your voice.

The way you hold my hand.

The way you look at me with that piercing stare of yours.

You get that look every time you listen.

It takes my breath away every time,

and that is why I can never manage to keep up an argument.

I become lost in your love.

That has only ever truly happened with you.

In your presence I find peace.

My mind slows down, and I am able to breath.

To breathe a breath that has long since been repressed

by societies deadlines and standards.

The debt collectors, rude customers and the uncompassionate of this world cripple

my once unguarded soul.

But around you, my barricades fall,

and for the first time in years, I begin to feel more.

More than anger or indignation,

More than rage.

You taught me how to love,

And how to receive love without fearful pains.

With you,

I begin to feel unconditional love that will tolerate my stupidity,

call me out when I am being harsh or rude,

and that will help shape me into a more caring and self-aware individual.

You make me a better woman by simply giving me your love with no condition.

You do not try to shape me into someone I am not,

but rather bring out and intensify all the good I had forgot.

I love you, and I miss you.

Every day I wake up without you by my side

makes me feel the void my heart cannot fill with anything other than the love of my wife.

My life has taken an upwards jettison,

but still,

something remains missing.

I breathe,

I sigh,

as I lift myself from my companionless bed.

I turn to enter the bathroom and prepare for my day.

I gather my things, walk outside

then lock the gate to my little corner of the world.

I am lost...

but then I look at the picture wedged on my old school car radio's face.

The picture of you and I

when we last shared a moment of joy

in a not so happy place...

and believe me,

no one can take that joy from you or I.

I look at my wife and know that our quality of life will soon skyrocket

when we can both share the same sky.

We will face many challenges,

and I will do stupid things,

but if we have each other....

Trust me Babe,

we can face any damn thing.

I love you.

Come home soon.

I miss you.

Cristina & Lytisha
March 2008

The Small Minded People

2010-01-04T12:31:00.000-08:00

Small-minded people with small-minded thought.
No consideration or concern for theories
that do not fit into their nice and neat White Anglo Saxon Protestant box.

When did thought become a crime?
When did hope become a fools endeavor?
Education,
a regurgitation.
Inspiration,
thought a degradation.
Misconception, misrepresentation…
These are the ways of the small-minded world.

Third rock from a sun
found in an ever-expanding universe.
We are but a speck
found in the grandeur of a milky way galaxy.

There is more to this world than simple black and white.
However, in your mind,
all that exists are racial barriers and foolish color lines.

These are the ways of the small-minded town.
Beware these tell tale signs…
Even the wise have lost their way,
Even the hopeful have been brought down.

Misery loves company,
So this holds true:
The small-minded people will not rest…
until they can control your every move.

The Gir Behind the Fabric Cape

2009-11-20T20:51:00.000-08:00

She's alone, and she does not know where to go.
She's in pain, but she tries to make it so no one sees.
She's hurt, and she's slowly dying.
She takes care of everybody,
But who's left to take care of me?

I am the selfish part of this woman.
I want to be known for my good deeds.
I am the one who wants to be held at night.
The one who wants to go home with a woman.
The one who just wants to be her black knight.

I am the selfish part of this woman.
I am the one who wants a friend.
I am the one who needs a companion.
The one who is tired of baring a grin.

She runs to different places to hide the grief she bears.
She runs and hides, hoping no one will see.
It’s becoming harder to be the grief bearer.

Take me in your arms,
Just hold me close.
Don’t let go…
I don’t care if I can breathe.
She will never ask,
But I need to know,
Is there still a Superman left out there for me?

See, I am Clark Kent.
She is the one who flies through the streets…
Seemingly invincible,
But kryptonite will knock her right off her feet.

I know my weaknesses.
I know my flaws.
But I just want someone to love me
For just being me.

Everyone loves a Superman,
But no one really sees
The Clark Kent behind the desk…
The girl behind the woman,
Who is dying for a moment of peace.

She is slowly dying
Behind that fabric cape.
No Lois Lane to hold her close,
To let her cry
When everyone she's saved
Just says "Thank you,"
Then waves goodbye.
Leaving her alone,
With a thousand and one thoughts on which to think.

She spends all day saving others lives,
But no one ever sees,
The girl behind the fabric cape
Has needs like you and me.

The Opinionated Writer

2009-11-18T23:50:00.000-08:00

Hello readers,
I created an additional blogspot for all of my articles. I want to keep The Artistic Poet for poetry and The Opinionated Writer for articles. Check it out, and let me know what you think.

Link to:

The Opinionated Writer

-Much Love
Cristina Marrero

Breath of Life

2009-10-20T21:09:00.000-07:00

Feel that sensation of inspiration.
It runs through your veins,
Seeps from your soul,
Flows through you like a river.

Feel that surge of adrenaline.
Pumping through your heart,
Surging through your body,
Pushing you to new limits.

Feel the rush of freedom!
No one can constrain you;
Total freedom to explore,
Complete freedom to be.

Feel the rush of jubilation.
Step on stage,
Stand before the crowd,
It's your moment.
Control your emotion,
Breath in the life,
Then you speak.

Nothing like the stage.
Nothing like that momentary spot light.
For the first time in a long time,
I am alive.

Longing Epiphany

2009-10-10T23:32:00.000-07:00

Wanting.
Wanting nothing.
Wanting Everything.
A world in chaos.
A world at peace.
Wanting something, anything, nothing.
Wanting life.
Wanting an Epiphany.

Flowers in Bloom

2009-09-16T10:06:00.000-07:00

Flowers in bloom appear so beautiful.
Time and care has caused them to prosper.
Left alone, they will still grow.
There are seasons to roses.
First they are born,
soon they whither away,
but then they rise from the dead
more beautiful than remembered.

Flowers in bloom appear so beautiful.
But roses have thorns,
Roses can bleed.
Roses may prick, or be broken, or even tear.
Handle every beautiful rose with affection matched with caution.
Appreciate the beauty of the flower, never forgetting its fragility.

Flowers in bloom can whither away,
but like the Phoenix from the ashes,
they are reborn to a new life from a bright burning flame.

The Craving

2009-09-15T20:20:00.000-07:00

I want a smoke.
I sit in a room full of no one and nothing.
I want a cig,
I want to feel the smoke dance on my lips.
The first breathe in,
Then the slow release.
When I smoke, I find peace.
Give me a smoke, please.
Let me feel peace.
The world is tugging from all corners.
I don't know which roads to take.
Old paths forgotten,
Transformed to new beginings.
Just give me a smoke!
Let the deep breathe in.
Let me stop making mistakes.
Let the pain sink out of my soul,
Let it drift into the mist of the midnight air.
Let me have that sweet release...
Give me a smoke, and let peace be renewed.
I take care of the world,
but lose myself in their pain.
Let the healing begin,
Let the cig give me time.
Peace will come,
but my heart is breaking from the sadness around me.
Give me a cig...
Just one sweet puff.
Please, allow me to have just a little peace of mind.

The Tempest of Hope

2009-09-04T10:58:00.000-07:00

When the storm winds blow and thunder crashes through the windy air,
Know it is not the end.
Though the seas may storm, tossing you into a new unknown direction...
Never fear.
While you may be blind to where you are going,
The seas will take you where you need to be.
There will be many roads to travel, and many tempests to face.
Sometimes, you need to go through where you have been
In order to find where you were always meant to be.

Roads

2009-08-30T22:42:00.000-07:00

Pulling me from all sides...
Your words are gone;
Your greetings vanished with you light.
New found roads appear.
I do not wish to travel.
New roads may be ready,
But I am not ready for those new roads to appear.
These roads will have to wait until I am strong enough to journey.

Deadly Poison

2009-08-13T20:34:00.000-07:00

Loneliness kills the soul of a man
waiting for the hope of the midnight hour.

Loneliness deprives the soul of a man
waiting for a glimmer of hope.

Come forth from the night you villainous creature.
Let me know thy true form.
Your face is dark with no remorse.
The murderous soul shows no shame for the killing of men.
The fiend strikes by injecting a lonely poison into the veins of his empty victims.
Left by the waste side are the dreams of a thousand forgotten spirits,
Longing for the toll of the midnight hour.
Longing for the dawn of a new age.

Come forth from the night!
Fight the still standing man
Who, somehow, holds yet one shred of hope in his lonely arsenal.
Fight not with your deadly poison,
But battle with the fists the Devil himself has crafted for you!

Loneliness kills the hope of a soul
Like the shadow of the night conceals the light
From the dawn of a new tomorrow.

Metamorphosis

2009-08-07T11:55:00.000-07:00

Tired.
Sweaty.
Drained.
Moved.
Left.

Started.
Waited.
Parted.
Accepted.
Living.

Newness.
Affirmation.
Consolation.
Transformation.
Welcome to the re-creation.

Scared Shitless

2009-08-06T15:22:00.000-07:00

I am sitting alone, packing my room.
Country music plays in the background.
It is a hard day.

I do not even like country tunes.
I am tired and scared.
Please don't let me face this battle alone.

The doctors are worried.
"You should go off campus to run a few test."
They say, "Probably nothing."
But I see the look on their face.

Avoiding the appointment.
I feel alone in my fight.
Remember when you held my hand?

You were afraid of needles--
Deathly so--
I had to get tested.
I was scared.
You sat by my side,
You swallowed your fear.

Then you held my hand
Through the drawing of the blood.
You held my hand
All through the tiring wait.
You held my hand
Telling me you would love me either way.

Here I am again,
Different tests,
Same fear.
I am scared.
This time,
The situation calls for a more serious concern.

I am scared again.
This time,
I am on my own.
No hand to hold,
No partner to hug,
Nothing but fear and a phone.

I am scared again.
Terrified of finding out the truth.
This time,
You are not by my side
To hold me close,
To love me,
To tell me I will be alright.

I am scared again--
Scratch that--Terrified.
but this time...
You won't be here to love me all my life.

Lights & Show

2009-08-05T20:36:00.000-07:00

The lights come up,
I hear my cue.
The nerves swell,
My breath deepens.

I lunge myself across the stage,
Take a breath.
My first line spoken.
Laughter heard.

I am doing well,
I am doing great.
I hear the audience.
I shake myself free from the terror.

The best feeling alive,
next to hearing her heart beat.
After the show,
I wait for my friends.

One by one they come,
They say "Good job."
I look, but I know.
You were not here tonight.
The only person I actually hoped would show.

Something New

2009-08-03T08:08:00.000-07:00

Something new?
Maybe so.
Something interesting?
Who knows.
Go with the flow,
See where it takes you.

Thanks God for the glue.
You are always there
When I most need you.

Stop The World & Pass Me The Glue!

2009-08-03T00:18:00.000-07:00

God, give me strength!
I am fading away...
There is nothing left of me.
My strength to fight grows weaker with the passing of each second.
My will to live grows thinner.
Death not an option,
But my living life is fading fast.
I survive instead of live.
I crawl instead of walk.
Where have I fallen to?

Oh, God in the heavens,
Give me the courage to make it through!
Nothing seems to keep me strong.
Nothing seems to help me fight through the pain of my tears.
My hope is dwindling away as I lay spread on the bathroom floor.
The light of hope a glimmering flicker in the night.
Oh, Father God hear my prayers!
I am so tired of this fight!

Lord...Dad, every time I take a step forward,
Something happens and I end up two steps back.
Where do I go from here?
There is no where to run to.
I run to you, but now what do I do?
I am just tired of the world going wrong.
I am tired of my choices not being right.
What happened to my clarity?!

My strength is in you, so please, start to deliver.
I just want my peace and serenity back.
Love is a fools game when it comes to romance.
I have been a fool to think love for me was a possibility.
I have so much to give, and the world to share...
No one is ready.

Why do I experience those things some only dream?
Why do I only feel pain?
I need to love.
I need to share my heart.
I need to hope.
You blessed me with a heart bigger than my body,
But it is also a curse.

I choose the wrong ones.
They all leave and never stay.
They all run away.
They all break my heart,
Although, I know I have broken a few.
I am sick of things breaking!
Lord...can you, please, pass me the glue?

The Vindictive Property

2009-08-02T19:24:00.000-07:00

Vindication.
I know it is not right.
It just feels so damn good to know
It was not me who screwed things up,
But you and your dumb ass.

Vindication.
I know it is not right,
But on this,
what would have been our 5 month,
It is good to know,
I am not the only one alone.

It sounds completely screwed up,
But for once, this day is not so bad.
Ah, vindication,
Feels good,
Though I know it won't last.

Strangers in The Night

2009-08-02T14:51:00.000-07:00

I am not the person you knew me to be.
I have found myself lost in this black oblivion,
Lost inside the maze of my forgotten mind.
Where have I gone to?

Her words still whisper in my ears.
No longer does her memory haunt me.
The loss of intimacy, the mourning of a friend.
Where did we lose ourselves?

Strangers in the night.
We meet for the first time--
Lost from where we were,
Lost from where we have gone.

Strangers in the night.
Neither one of us are the same people
With whom we fell in love.

Strangers in the night.
Long lost distant members of a forgotten dream.
Disintegrating into a flowing fog,
Lingering from the same forgotten memory,
And washing away onto the seas of a forgotten shore.

Strangers in the night.
No longer players in the same scene.
The final bow taken with the last line of our broken tragedy.
The painting of a new scene,
Once drawn on the blank pallet of a starless night,
Now strewn over the closed curtains of a forgotten night's dream.

The Emo Rant

2009-07-31T20:08:00.000-07:00

I have done everything for that girl.
She just does not get it.
I deserve more than this miserable hell hole.
The light at the end of the dying tunnel is a fleeting glimmer of hope.
Tomorrow is fading away with the passing of the days.
Time flys by me and I can not seem to notice its presence.
Where have I fallen too?

Come with me oh black night.
Let me know there is a glimmer of hope still left in the far off distance.
Let me know that there will be another day abounding with joy.
Flipping through photos from several years.
I have faded away lost in a river of unrequited agony.

Give me but my name and restore its former glory.
Give me my name and bring back the joy I once was not instructed to feel.
Give me my glory, give me my hope, give me my meaning.
I have lost more than my heart.
I have lost a souls worth.
Give me back the joy you have stolen from me.

I Know & I Know

2009-07-31T02:14:00.000-07:00

I know heart break ends.
I know there is beauty in all living things.

I know there will be a new tomorrow.
I know, someday, I will love another.

I know many truths,
But still does not change
The war waging on
Between my heart and my brain.

You're Bringing Me Down

2009-07-31T01:50:00.000-07:00

You're bringing me down.
I know you don't mean to.
You're bringing me down.
Your words do it too.

You're bringing me down.
Please, don't say your, "aw"s
You're bringing me down
Like showing a scared kid
A chucky clown doll.

I try to forget
Her face and her eyes.
Engraved in my head.
I try to survive.

You're bringing me down.
Just don't mention her name.
You're bringing me down.
Just don't bring her to my brain.

You're bringing me down.
I know you don't mean to.
Her lips and that smile.
Don't remind me,
That's how I make it through.

A Thought Inside My Brain

2009-07-31T01:29:00.000-07:00

Flash, flash, flash, flash.
Thought, thought, thought, thought.
Flash, Flash,
Flash, Flash.
Thought, Flash.
A glimps inside my mind.

Flash, flash, flash, flash.
Thought, thought, thought, thought.
Flash, Flash.
Thought, Thought.
Back, Flash.
A glimps inside my head.

Love, war, peace, war.
Love, hate, peace, dates.
Love, faith,
Peace, hope.
Love, soul,
Peace, coap.
Flash, Flash,
Glimps, Flash.
A thought inside my brain.

Come Forth

2009-07-30T17:01:00.000-07:00

Come forth from the light,
Let me see your eyes.

Come forth from the dark,
Let me see your form.

Come forth from the black oblivion
Let me understand.

Come out from the darkness,
Let me see your love again.

Come forth from what you know,
Let me see the truth.

Come forth and let me know,
'S long as when you come forth,
I see the true, honest soul that is you.

The Empty Room of Unsung Dreams

2009-07-29T19:52:00.000-07:00

Tired.
Night is setting in.
I just want somebody to love.
I just want to feel needed again.

Tired.
Wanting to just go to bed.
It is cold in my room
When there is no one curled
Holding me close,
Lying next to me
Keeping me safe and warm.
Just me,
Alone in my room.

Tired.
Just want someone to care.
Just want someone to love me.
Want someone to want to be near.

Tired.
Tired of feeling alone.
Tired of feeling this way.
Tired of saying good bye to friends,
Ending up home alone
Staring at an empty bed.

Tired.
It's an empty feeling
Coming home to an empty room.
There is no one to greet me,
No one to expect coming home.
No one there to say the words "I love you."

Tired.
Sleep draws me near.
It's cold in my room.
I just wish someone would love me enough
To wish they were here.

Tired.
Sleep takes its hold.
I lay in my empty bed,
Room for two,
But no one to share.
Just me alone
Trying to catch some sleep
Just me alone.
Just me and the empty room
of my unsung dreams.

The Coldest Winter Snow

2009-07-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

Anger.
Anger at the truth.
Anger at my self for still being in love with you.
You gave me a ring promising for forever,
Forever is a day to the heart of a fleeting lover.
My own personal run away bride,
Your next boy or gal should by you a pair of Nike sneakers
Your next crush should run and hide.

Pity.
Pity on your soul.
It's all just a game to you,
While you just try to fit this pathetic mold
All the while singing your own sad rendition of the soulful blues.

Try being a woman,
Grow some damn courage.
Live for yourself
Not that serpent of a heartless mother
Who you let devour
Every last bit of your beautiful spirit.

You once told me to grow a spine.
Now I am telling you,
Grow a damn back bone!
Do what you you love,
What you were meant to fucking do.
Do what is good,
Not for everyone else,
But just do it because it pleases you.

You are a better poet than I will ever be,
But some how,
The world will never know,
The world will never see,
Deaf Jam will never hear of you
Because you run and hide,
In your rabbit hole of lies.
So, I ask you this:
Who are you to be judging my life?

You're scared?
Poor baby,
You should have lived a day in my shoes
Back when I was growing up,
You should have spent a day in my life.
Facing fear,
Facing pain,
Facing eviction,
Facing trying to make it another fucking day.
At least I learned how to live and love.
You learned how to survive and change,
live in fear,
Live in chaos,
Live in a prison
Composed of your foolish pride and the desires of other's hate.

Pride is the devil wrapped up in a pretty bowed disguise.
You can be proud and not prideful,
You can be proud and still be strong
When you break down,
When you lose control,
When you start to cry.
Pride and proud are not one and the same.
Pride and proud are different,
Like indifference and hate.

Face the facts,
Courage is not the absence of fear.
Courage is doing what you must
Despite that all consuming ring of terror,
That whisper of self-doubt,
The whisper of "you can't do it,"
Ringing in your ears,
Playing with your mind,
Playing with your fears,
Playing with who you are,
Playing with all the truths you hold dear.

You want to talk brave?
Try stepping up.
I am living my live,
Doing my thing,
Going on with my being,
Doing what I do...
Never giving up to the pain you left on my wounded heart.
I am doing right by me,
While you keep breaking hearts
Because boredom starts to consume
Because you are no longer fully amused.
Because in your mind,
Love is all about you.

Here's a news flash,
Love is selfless.
Love is kind.
It's kind of sad
When you realize the woman you love
May have left you in the cold,
But her veins
Run with blood colder
Than the coldest winter snow.

Hell's Firery Gates

2009-07-29T08:09:00.000-07:00

Give me a reason to believe.
There have been far to many reasons to forget.
To many reasons to resent.
To many reasons to wash you from my brain.

Give me a reason to risk my heart,
To believe in something more than a hell hole of loveless spite.
A hell of forgotten memories,
A hell hole of desperate fights.

Give me a reason to hope
For something other than hate.
It's a bitter road when you cross love.
It's a bitter road when you leave a lover standing
On the steps of hell's firery gates.

The Final Fairwell to My Forgotten Blue/Grey Eyed Girl

2009-07-27T01:27:00.000-07:00

She is not the woman I thought she was.
She is not the woman I thought she could be.
She is not the woman I fell in love with.
Now she is just cold and mean.

I made my peace.
I spoke kind words.
I made amends and
Said goodbye in a way which would not hurt.

She shrugged her shoulders.
She did not care.
She is now cold and mean.
There is not a trace of my Emily
Left in those blue/grey eyes
I once did love to stare.

Goodbye my blue/grey eyed girl.
Think what you will.
Everything I have ever done has been for you,
Even now when you do not care,
Even now when I know you never did,
Even now when I know you never will.

Surrender

2009-07-26T20:03:00.000-07:00

I am so tired of this fight.
I give up, I surrender.
You win and I give in.
I control nothing,
You control all.

The days are long,
The nights seem endless,
The mornings are horrendous.
I control nothing,
You control all.

This pain is profound,
I try to understand,
I find my answer.
I control nothing,
You control all.

I give up!
I give in...
I surrender to your mercy,
I control nothing,
You control all.

I am tired of the solving.
I am tired of the race.
I am tired of all this emotional drain.
I control nothing,
You control all.

I forgive her for hurting,
Fine, I will let go.
I am so tired of fighting.
I control nothing,
You control all.

I know there is a reason.
I know there is another door.
I know there is more.

But letting go,
Losing control
Giving in,
Searching for hope,
Believing in a dream,
Having faith for another day more.
It is just so hard to believe in hope
When faith is fading thin,
And the time between doors
Seems so bloody dark
With no one to help you in.

I am tired of this fight.
I am tired of this journey.
I just want to know...
I control nothing,
You control all.

I hate uncertainty.
You give situations
In which I can be strong.
The days grow long,
my strength grows thin.
I control nothing.
You are all I have left to believe in.

My Run Away Girl

2009-07-26T13:23:00.001-07:00

My run away girl,
Where did you go?
I do not want anyone else.
I am staying on my own.
I do not trust anymore.
There are walls here not in existence before.

My run away girl
Did not wish to grow.
When adult responsibility set in,
A more serious relationship was about to begin,
And the actualization of true, unconditional love understood--
She became frightened.
For the second time,
My run away girl left me behind
With only tracks of dust from her running soles
Left in my line of sight.

I have been privy to seeing
The woman my run away girl is afraid to be.
One day, she will have to grow.
One day, she will learn
Love is not the equivalent of momentary entertainments,

But a lifetime of love for the truth of a soul.

Unfortunately for me,
At this point in our lives,
We are not meant for eternity.
And my run away girl
will only continue to run and hide.

My run away girl,
You do not want to let yourself love or be loved.
You do not want what is real.
Everything must be simple and to the point.
No fights,
No worries,
Always happy,
Never mess.

My run away girl,
You do not see the truth.
Life is not a fairytale.
There is no such thing as perfection.
Love will never be easy.
Truth will always be subjective.
People will never meet your expectations of perfection,
But imperfection is not a bad property.
Imperfections are what make our species beautiful.
Even in tragedy there can be beauty seen.

I will never be good enough for my run away girl.
She wishes perfection,
A mind reader,
A love where never a foul word is heard.

I will never be good enough
For the girl with whom I fell in love.
My run away girl will keep on running
Until the soles of her tired feet
Finally give out.

The War of My Mind

2009-07-25T17:44:00.000-07:00

It was not the right time,
Nor was it the right place.
We need to grow.
We need to learn how to communicate.

Something is holding me close to you.
An anchor on my heart keeps me from moving forward.
Words from a promise I once spoke,
“I will never leave you behind.”

A struggle between my heart and my mind.
Do I stay, or do I go?
I wonder if there will come a day
When we can be together again.

“Maybe one day I will want more.”
The words you spoke.
I know I deserve more than this,
But I love you.

Why does a ring determine one’s devotion?
Why does a silly ceremony determine unconditional commitment?
There was a ring of sorts.
I made a vow of devotion to a woman I loved.

Do I stay or do I go?
Either way I must continue to live.
Assumptions, mistakes made and points of frustration.
It was not a falling out of love.

The issues were workable.
The romance was just dormant.
I wanted to go out as well.
I wanted to bring back the life to our love.

I had limitations and a hard time.
There was only so much I could do.
I wanted to dance the world with you.

Movies,
Swing,
A night on the town,
A day at the beach,
Maybe a trip to another town.

As for the other,
It was not needed.
I wanted to just walk with you
At whatever pace you wanted.
As long as I could walk near you,
I would have been content.

I may not be a good dancer,
But I was willing to watch
Or even join in.
If I made a fool of myself
I would have been yours.
A proud fool I would have been.

There was so much I wanted to share,
So much I wanted to discuss.
If I was quite,
It was because I had everything on my mind.

I think to much,
I did not want you to get scared away.
I quieted down the thoughts in my head.
So many questions and discussions we could have had.
I was trying to make you happy, so I stopped being who I am.

The irony is,
If I had been me,
You would have stayed.

Myself was the person you were first attracted too.
Why I changed will never be fully understood,
But I wish we had another shot at what we had.
Slowing down, and just enjoying each other’s company again.
I miss my friend.
I miss my girl.
I miss what we had before the “other” came into the picture
Ruining everything we had planned.

We were good before that time.
We went to fast,
And now you have left me behind.

My mind is at war.
I told you I would be your Shilloh.
Through think and thin,
For better or worst.

How am I better than the others if I walk away?
I just want to sweep you off your feet
The way I did way back when.

The nature trail,
Our clearing.
I miss what we had,
And I think we could have it again.

Maybe one day you will see me for who I really am
And not the one you assume me to be.
In the mean while I am trapped in this war of my mind.

Do I walk away totally from the woman I love?
Why does a ring make it ok to stay devoted even when the other is gone?
Why does a ring decide devotion till the end?
It’s a confusing war of questions,
There are no answers.

I just want you to let me love you again,
I just want you to look at me with that look of love
That look of happiness,
That look of never letting go.

I just want to be happy again.
Happy with you,
Happy with me,
But the world tells me
You will never come back to me.

Why is it so hard to let you go?
This war of questions is beginning to take its toll.

The Lost Maze of Your Soul

2009-07-24T13:15:00.000-07:00

Sex changes everything and warps all that is known.
Emotions are lost, confused, disrupted.
The bond is complicated.
What has been known is now distorted.
Lost inside the maze of your mind.

No one believes us when we say sex is serious.
We are prudes who know nothing.
No one believes us when we say sex changes everything.
We are merely over exaggerating our own thoughts.
Lost inside the maze of your mind.

When it happens,
Even if it is planned in a safe place and time,
Something complex begins to occur.
The emotions flood the soul who has never known this kind of love.
Confusion takes hold while your passions--good or bad--run wild.
You are no longer safe behind your own label name or off brand cloths.
There are no barricades between you and your lover
Just skin and bones.
Fear is normal when you experience sex for the fist time.
Lost inside the maze of your mind.

You have to talk,
You have to make sure what you wanted won’t hurt you as the days go by.
It is a delicate animal this thing we call love.
To sudden of movements can cause it to run off.
To quick a pace can make love become lost in a tsunami of emotional strain.
Lost inside the maze of your soul.

Sex is not the decider of love’s fate.
Love will continue even when sex is no longer a factor of the game.
Lost inside the maze of your mind.
Found the truth to late.
Lost inside the maze of your soul.
Now love is gone.
The memory of sexual strain is all that remains.
Your love for me has now been lost to the maze of your emotions.
Trapped inside the maze of your soul.

The Kiss of An Angel

2009-07-22T21:51:00.000-07:00

Your touch.
The words you whispered.
Your voice.

Your heart beat.
Your rapid motions.
Your moans and groans.

The look in your eyes.
The beat of your heart.
The trust in your arms.

The love in your stare.
The embrace of a lover.
The heart of a friend.
The forever love of a partner.

The clinching of my shoulders.
The warm embrace.
The listening of your heart beat.
The quickening of its pace.

The slowing down of motion.
The slow withdrawal.
The kiss of an angel.
The kiss from my heart.

The staring into a lover’s eyes.
The holding you close.
The hugging me tight.

The whisper of the words:
“I love you.”
The smile of a dream.

The holding promise.
The never letting go.
The grip of forever.
The promise to always hold you close.

The peace of serenity.
The home in your arms.
The peace you gave within me.
The joy we found in each other’s hearts.

Where did it go wrong?
When did the love fade away?
The kiss of angel.
My angel flew away.

The Artistic Poet's Dare

2009-07-22T09:32:00.000-07:00

I am the artistic poet.
I write the words
You can not read.
I write the words
You can not see.

I am the artistic poet.
I write what visions
Some can dream.
I create the visions
Only few can see.

I am the artistic poet.
I write the heartbreak
Within my soul.
I write the words
Which spring from the purist form of hope.

I am the artistic poet.
I am the one whose work
Will be judged.
I am the one who will create
What songs can not be sung.

I am the artistic poet.
I am the one who communicates
My voice with words.
I am the one who speaks my soul
With the art of wisdomatic verse.

I am the artistic poet.
I write what is captured
In a short moment of time.
I create what transforms
I jot down a second
In the span of a lifetime.

I am the artistic poet.
My words will mean what I say.
My art will be taken in several different ways.
The subjective nature of the world
Will take what I create
Build up or destroy.
Convey or disdain.
Pervert or dessert.
Shame or deviate.

I am the artistic poet.
My work will be misunderstood.
But it is not the understanding which matters.
For the artistic poet,
What matters is for what the original piece stood.

I am the artistic poet.
Few will understand my mind.
Many will claim I am merely a face in a forgotten time.
Few will know the depth of my meaning.
Few will see the worth of a soul’s words
A soul’s quest for a deeper meaning and worth.

I am the artistic poet.
Some find me mad.
Those who are blind,
Find me lost in a mind of playful illusions
A mind they could never have had,
let alone a critic understand.

I am the artistic poet.
Try to understand my words if you dare.
More than one meaning.
More than one expression.
More than one value.
Go ahead,
Try to understand
The words written by my hand.
This is the artistic poet's poetic dare.

The Ghost of A Well Lit Dream

2009-07-22T08:58:00.000-07:00

In the night,
I dream of you.
I dream of what we used to be.

In the night,
I think of you.
I think of the woman
I could not see.

In the night,
I love you more.
I love you more
As I once did before.

In the night,
You are a shadowy dream.
A vision of the past.
A ghost built on a well lit dream.

In the night,
You are truly gone.
Gone from me.
Gone from who we used to be.

In the night,
You are my past.
You are my ghost.
You are that vision.
That vision which was never meant to last.

Goodnight sweet ghost.
I bid you good ‘morrow.
The shadows of my past
Only now haunt me in my dreams
In the light,
I will be living for tomorrow.

Moon Lit Dream

2009-07-19T19:04:00.000-07:00

[This poem is rather old, but its a nice break from the recent depressing stuff. =0)]

Somtimes at night,
When the sun has set,
I look to the moon and find
My energy spent.

I look to the sky
The stars, far and wide,
I wonder why
You are not by my side.

I wonder why,
Does the moon lit sky,
Boarder the path,
To my undying light.

The love I hold,
For you, so far away,
Makes me wonder why,
The moon lit sky,
Must stand in our way.

Somtimes at night,
When my heart aches,
I pray to the heavens
We will find our way

Two paths, two roads,
One day will join again
And no longer will the sky
Stand between our lover's lane.

Do not fear,
For this tide shall pass
The wind filled currants fade

But like the sea,
My love flows deep.
No ocean, tide, or moon lit sky
Will keep me from
The love of my life.

One day our skys will meet
Our oceans join,
The music flow in perfect harmony.

I long for the day,
I see your face,
We lie in peace,
And gaze at our moon lit dream.

A Two Way Tango Prayer

2009-07-19T18:51:00.000-07:00

Lord give me the strength to make it another day.
The road is growing longer and harder.
With each passing minute my patience becomes thinner.

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
These, your words, your law, your message.
I try to live by these words you have spoken
I try to be the best person I can be for your glory
And for the good of my fellow man,
But what happens when the world does not comply?
What of those who treat others with no respect?
Is this how they would have others treat them?
What happens when patience runs out, and indignation takes hold?

I do not claim perfection.
I am the picture of imperfection.
I am flawed, and I have quirks which are not so becoming,
But I try my best to be the best I can be.

If I speak, there will be confrontation and words of anger
Such things I can not take.
My depression and anxiety worsens with each day that passes.
Resolution of an unspoken war seems impossible.

Lord, give me strength to make it to another day
Give me the strength to keep my cool in the face of anger
Keep me from the brink of madness
Keep me from the brink of insanity.
Deliver me from this hostile place and let me have peace once more.

The days become longer, and my place more uncertain.
These games mortals play, so juvenile, pointless really.
What happened to a world of mutual respect?
Keep me from becoming just as bad as the world.
Help me take the higher road.

I fear my mind to be lost should no resolution come soon.
So, Father in heaven, give me the strength to make it once more.

The Great Escape from The Devil's Hell

2009-07-19T17:56:00.000-07:00

They have you,
They hold you in their arms,
Not by choice,
but by a forceful hold.

When I think on them,
Their faces are monstrous.
Their hold binds you
To a loveless life you wish not to lead.
They have taken your dreams
Told you visions can never become reality.
They have taken your spirit
Told you not to believe
In a different kind of dream.

It is a different world
In which you live.
A different way of thinking.
I dream a dream differed
Even when fear takes hold.

Mine have told me
To dream
Mine have told me
To make dreams become truthful reality.
They have taught me
To see the spirit of life,
Venture forth to greet its happy face
With a matched pair
Of hope and faith

What lies have these mortals told
That you would think
You could not break this alleged hold?
Strength is fading;
I see it in your eyes.
But do you not know?
Do you not see?

Moses began to lose his strength
In a story lost
inside a desert
by a sea.

His arms grew tired
as the day grew long,
But those who loved him,
And those who cared
Stood by the man
Held his arms up in the air
When Moses was no longer strong.

He lost the strength
To bare this weight
But his companions stood fast
Giving this Moses a way
To press on to the light of another day.

Let us be your support
When your arms grow tired from the weight.
Let us be there
To help you along the way.

Have you not heard?
Have you not seen?
Others can too see your forgotten dreams!

While some others may not see
The wonderful woman
You are growing to be,
Others can view
The woman you really are.
The woman you continue
To grow into.

There are those,
Who love you
For who you are
And wish to help you
On this,
Your new start.

Pride is a downfall
When it hinders your plans.
Letting others hold your arms up
Is not weakness,
But takes more than the strength
Of one thousand men.

You are not alone
In this battle you fight.
This hold they have
Does have an end in sight.

Let us love you,
Let us help,
Let us be there
When life goes to hell.

When you have those
Who would stand
Through dust storms
And break through
The emotional dams,
You are then truly free of tyranny.

And when what you once knew
Has now been transformed
Freedom will ring,
And the true you
Will be re-born.

Do you not know?
Can you not see?
When you have love
On your side,
And friends standing by,
The Devil's hellish nightmare
Can no longer be.

The Plea for Unconditional Sight

2009-07-19T17:43:00.000-07:00

I'm a perpetual work-in-progress,
Please understand,
I am trying my best to be the best I can.

Be patient with me,
Soon you will see,
I can be the woman you need me to be.

I'm not like him,
I am not a jerk.
I have my jerk moments,
But I never intend to hurt.

My mouth moves
my brain does not think
and in the process
my words wound
and both our hearts sink.

I'm not always smart,
You must understand,
I love you with all my heart
I just have some issues at hand.

I have found the trigger
To the "why" of why I am the way I am.
I found out why
I have a tendency to be like that man.

Everyone has their issues,
I admit mine.
He is my issue,
and I am working to get by.

This is not a fight I can win on my own
I need your help;
I can't face this alone.
The road ahead is long,
The issues can not be ignored.
The mountain I face can not be tackled alone.

I am not asking you to solve my problems,
But please,
Just hold my hand.
My life has not been easy,
You are the one thing is this world I can understand.

Still learning each other.
You and I.
Still a long road ahead,
But together we can get by.

The path is uncertain,
The future unclear.
What ever is ahead,
Just stand with me and face it, My Dear.

I love you more than this world could ever know,
I love you more than anyone I have ever known.

Before you,
all I would say is,
"If they can't handle me at my worst,
then they should not stay."
You have stayed,
even on my worst days,
You have loved me,
even when my words made you want to stray.
For you I will face the issues I have.
For you and for I
Will I see to the problem at hand.
Just be with me.
Be by my side.
Please, let me be yours,
And please always be mine.
I can't do this alone,
I need you and God on my side.

Just hold me when I scream.
Then I will most likely cry,
For when I yell,
I am the most vulnerable.
When I hurt,
It is not because I hate.
When I hurt,
It is because my heart is afraid to ache from pain.
When I am happy,
Then there is a chance of hurt.
My father kicks in,
And I lash before the other has a chance to hurt.

I will work through my issues,
But I need you by my side.
I can't do this alone.
I need your love and your patience to help me get by.

The road ahead will be long,
But I love you with all my being,
and that's why I care enough to change the bad side of my soul
to the good love you first witnessed inside my fragile soul.

The Haunting of a Memory

2009-07-19T17:20:00.000-07:00

You are the ghost from my past
Who haunts me in my waking slumber.
You are the ghost from my past
Who consumes my dreams and devours my soul.
You are the ghost from my past
Whose words still whisper in my ears.
You are the ghost from my past
Whose love I once did know.

You are the Ghost from my past,
Whom I try to avoid.
You are the Ghost from my past,
Who stole my heart and killed my soul.
You are the Ghost from my past,
Whose words still whisper to my ears.
You are the Ghost from my past,
Whose memory still fills the void between my ears.

You are the ghost from my past,
Whose memory I must let go
You are the ghost from my past,
Whose’ sent I must forgo.
You are the ghost from my past,
I must cleanly erase.
Lit cigarette,
Sweet dreams,
And a beautiful history
Soon to be erased.

The Moon, The Stars & A Pack of Marlboro Menthol Light.

2009-07-19T15:12:00.000-07:00

The smoke dances upon my lips.
The air fills my lungs.
I look up at the night sky.
I’m alright.

The stars are bright,
My thoughts race through my mind.
I take a puff.
I’m alright.

The moon is huge,
The brain consumes,
I take a puff.
I’m alright.

Memories flood,
My heart begins to fall,
I hold back, take a puff,
And I’m alright.

One by one,
The thoughts begin to fade.
The moon, the stars, and a newly lit cigarette.
I’m doing okay.

The thought of two,
Now becomes one,
A smoke in my hand
And then there were none.

The moon, the stars, the sky
And my new pack of Marlboro menthol lights.

The ashes fade.
I am given a brief release.
I take a puff.
I’m okay.

The cigarette burns.
The ashes fall.
The memories fade.
I’m doing okay.

The thoughts lose me.
The time flys away.
The cigarettes burn.
But I’m doing okay.

Nothing left to say.
I suppose I’m doing fine.
The moon, the stars, the sky,
Me and my half smoked pack of Marlboro menthol lights.

The Lost Peace

2009-07-19T14:51:00.000-07:00

Her heart beat pounds like the ticking clock.
Her hair smells of rosemary.
Her heart beats to the rhythm of my own.
My soul finds peace.

In her arms,
Nothing can harm me.
From her lips,
No words can deceive me.
From her breath,
Comes a new birth to my soul.
From her voice,
There is born a new joy all our own.

I miss her,
I want her,
I need her.
Do I?

I love her,
I hate her,
I loath her,
I resent her,
I can't stand her,
Why do I love her?

Her heart beats away from mine.
Her hair is smelt by another.
Her heart is no where near my own.
I have lost the peace within my soul.

-Cristina Marrero

Don't Look Down

2009-07-19T14:26:00.000-07:00

Don't look down,
or you might just fall
Don't look ahead,
or you'll miss it all
Don't look back,
cause your too far in.
Your balancing over the fire pits of where your going and where you have been.

So don't look down,
or you might just fall.
Don't look back,
you can't change it all.
Don't look foward,
'casue you can't see that far ahead,
Just focus on getting there and not ending up dead.

Don't look down,
or you just might fall,
Don't look down,
because you have friends who will see you through it all.
Don't look down,
cause you are never really alone
Don't look down,
because with friends you never truly fell,
they were there to catch you before you entered the tar pits of hell.